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| lifes better noooww!!
but still have some healing and some work to do...
for once regaining some friends i feel i let go. it wasnt on purpose! it just happened!
tomorow im going to hugos house... life long friend, nothing can go wrong!
right now i really miss sophie... i mean, shes been missing for what? 2 days? and i feel like i have been without her!
and its hard to say this...
but i miss mario!!
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| oki doki
so things with mario? muucchh better! but with friends... lets just say i rele know which ones are the ones who apreciate me the most!
so im just missing one little thing... what do i do next year?!?!?
do i stay at this crappy school that nothing is right?
or do i stay back a grade and go to "the sagrado corazon"?
it sucks because some people tell me to stay, some to go... but what I want? i dunno!
its also sucking that nothing is inspireing me anymore...
i feel everything plane.
its sucks
i never thought i would ever feel this way.
not seeing the majic in ANYTHING!
not even criss angel
not!
lol
im not even inspiried to write
so bye
;S
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| yeeaall
so its been like a week since we broke up... and to be honest, im not that sad. that day i cried alittle, but my whole world DIDNT fall apart. i think i was kind of sick of being in a relationship. its about time i was single. i mean, i am going to miss him, but not really because of all the shit he has done to me. he broke my heart a couple of times and after like the second time, i just didnt give a fuck. well not into that extreme but i just didnt care as much about my relationship as i did before.
hes not the only guy thats going to be in my life... as the quote sais, theres many fishys in the see (so why drown for this one?) lol
my mom has been trying to help me with this but i think im fine like i dont need any support. i just need to be left alone and like seriously not think about anything like that. the good thing is that my friends like claudia and sophie and bernie help take my mind off that (and him!) things will be normal for me in a while but what i really need o get over him is just to stop talking to him. hes been calling me and calling me, and its not even to take him back or anything(seems as if he didnt give a rats ass if were together or not or he takes it as if its a sure thing were going back) hes very confident that ill take him back. but i guess someone just has to kick him off his high horse bc no way in HELL im going back to be ignored and not taking in concideration all the sacrifices i do for him... bc you can ask ANYONE!!! i have done ALOOOOTTT of sacrifices for him... i have change and like given up alot of stuff... just for this guy who dosent seem to care about me. he dosnt take me out anymore, dosent hang out with me anymore... barely talks to me the same... thats it im going to sleep,
night!!! | | |
| so its been like 3 or 4 months since i last wrote in my xanga. i get bored of being in the computer all the time, thats why i havent wrote in a long ass time. also because my mom forgot to pay the internet bill and like it was disconected... but rele who knows. bc the other reason was because there was a cable in plugged in correctly and we didnt noticed, soooo no internet for about 2 weeks. it was a little relife for me bc i got to re-organize my room and to read a little bit of the catcher in the rye. its been like half the year since i got that book and i still cant manage to find some time and sit down and read it. but this lil week we had of 0 internet was helpfull for my reading lol. so life now? hmm still sucky. still not following the career i wanted and im in a stinking hell hole freaks like to call a "good school", maybe its a great school, but i just cant learn in there. the way they try to make kids learn is kind of sickening. they try to make them fail so they can count on being aware of ALL the posibilities. its a good thing... i guess but to me its just not. i mean, i learn the nice humnle calm way. like when they ask me nicely or just make learning fun! not somthing that we HAVE to do. its quite annoying. im failing at somthing that used to be soo easy to me and that i rele didnt care for alot. im not blaming it on the school, i mean it is my fault in a way also. but since i dont like that school... shouldnt i be alowed to change to something that i want and thatll make me happy and that ill actually try to win with all my might? i think sooo!! ooh well... in other part of my life, friends. never been in or (atleast) been out. but i just cant seem to rele relate to alot of people at the same time. for some it might be as easy as pie, but not for me. i like to be in a more close relation ship. like with my relationship with hugo, or bernie. theyre both my greatest friends (as well as victor, sophie, claudia and edd (just in case they read this someday)). i like them because i cab get close to them. not in a physical way, but in a sort of spiritual way. not meaning religion but whats inside of eachone. i like eachone for different things. and when i hang out with each one i kno what to say and how to say so we can get along. thats why in my bday party were i just invited my close friends, it was hard to get all along! i mean we played brawl which is what i usually do with the "asiaticos" and clau&co. but not with mario nor victor, so that was abust. and when becca came over and we all talked and laughed, its not really what we do with the rest. so that was also hard. but in the end i guess ill just have to deal with it. i have to just try to be a good friend with eachone...
ok so i guess thats enough for today, cant really think of anything else to say. so...
Good Day Mate!
(inside with javier) | | |
| hey hey hey another day another dollar... nah jk, just school and ofcourse dramma ;c lol but w/e im getting used to it. i talked today to mah bff like all day long, and i had fun in school. yeah school. and i punched sophie on the nose and made her bleed...seriously i did!! lol but it was all in fun and games.i kind of feel bad tho ;s hmmm
thats all ;D no thoughts today
tomorow im going to oakland... ekk
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